Spot the Fake

Two tales from current events, about spotting something fake:

A wedding procession is stopped near Bagdad, Iraq, by those meddling American troops:

Upon inspecting the convoy, soldiers found a stubbly-faced man, Haider al-Bahadli, decked out in a white bride's dress and veil.

Bahadli was wanted on terror-related charges, as was his groom, Abbas al-Dobbi, the official said.

It may be a good thing that the soldiers intervened. Whatever would betray such an oddly conceived masquerade?

The soldiers became suspicious of the convoy because its members -- save the "bride" -- were all male and because one of the cars in the convoy did not heed orders to stop, the official said.

Also, soldiers said, the people in the car seemed nervous and the groom refused to lift his bride's veil when soldiers asked him to, according to the official.

Ahh, so the behavior of the party and composition of the group belied its appearance. That's something to remember.

A homily is delivered by a Roman Catholic priest, at a Roman Catholic Mass, at a Roman Catholic church:

"Two people came into Church to pray. One was an Evangelical pastor whose regional services are broadcast nationally who prayed " I give you thanks oh God that I am not like others - greedy, dishonest or like others who give into same gender sex drives which the bible calls an abomination."

The others who came into Church to pray for a same sex couple raising children born by way of donor insemination who prayed: "Oh god, be merciful to us for not finding our own medium to share with the broader audience the biblical passage of 1 John 4:16 – God is love and when we abide in love we abide in God and God in us."

Jesus concluded the last ones went home more worthy in God's sight than the first."

Hmm, the person delivering this alternative view of the Gospel looks like a Roman Catholic priest, but he's showing a decidedly firm deviation from the doctrines of the Catholic Church. I sense that he's closer to an Episcopalian than a Catholic. What other cards is the priest playing?

Two people came into Church to pray, one was a Catholic Archbishop who refuses communion to Rainbow Sash people at the Cathedral on Pentecost Sunday who prayed " I give you thanks oh God that I am not like others – greedy, dishonest or like others who need to make their dissent from official Church teaching so public and divisive."

The other were Rainbow parents of GLBT people at the Cathedral on Pentecost who stood off on the side and prayed, "Oh God be merciful to us for failing to attend our own Churches more often; they say they love God then turn there backs on us in hate directly contrary to 1:John,4 – whoever loves God must also love the neighbor."

Jesus concluded the last ones went home more worthy in God's sight than the first.

There's another straw man argument against the doctrines of the Church whose uniform he's sporting. He's not supportive of Catholic doctrine on sexuality, and he's promoted the LGBTQI agenda before, and only backed down when promised some heat.

So, we have a terrorist dressed as a bride, and an Episcopalian dressed as a Roman Catholic priest. Which do you think will end up doing more damage?

h/t Curt Jester

Humidor is online

I've moved all the cigar items to their own blog, called "The Humidor of the Apokalypse". If you're shopping for a good stogie for yourself, or someone else, you can wander over there to get an Idea about some good cigars that don't cost much. One could even leave suggestions for your humble host.

Descriptive

A local laundry operator was held up at knifepoint, and the local paper gives the usual details:

The man walked into the business, asked for a piece of paper and wrote a demand for money. He left without further incident and no injuries were reported.

The man was described as being about 40 years old, about 6-feet tall, about 225 to 250 pounds and with a light mustache.

Wow, the description avoids any racial description, but offends other gender, age, and physical attribute groups.

Describing the suspect as male is sexist, as the perp could be a woman trapped in a man's body. The facial hair trait is also sexist. So, we better scratch the descriptors "man" and "with a light mustache".

Giving an age range is patently offensive, as age shouldn't be a factor in assigning blame for a crime. So, scratch the "about 40 years old".

By announcing his height, you've disparaged people of moderate stature. So, you'd better lose the "about 6 feet tall" as well.

The overweight are constantly discriminated against, and would be insulted by a weight bias in the paper's report. Better to eliminate the derogatory "about 225 to 250 pounds" as well.

That leaves us with a more socially just description of the unfortunate offender:

The suspect was described as being.

Everyone happy now?

Oblivious, or Lying

Russian president Vladamir Putin chanted praises for the Russian Orthodox church, this time for promoting interreligious dialog:

"We attach serious importance to the efforts being made by the Russian Orthodox Church to promote interreligious dialogue and cooperation, and to assert religious tolerance," Putin told the hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church in the Kremlin on Monday.

That's pretty interesting, considering that the Russian Orthodox delegation huffily left the recent interreligious dialog meeting in Ravenna. Maybe Vlad is referring to Patriarch Alexy II's assertion of authority over the orthodox in Estonia. The Russian Orthodox church is just continuing the Russian tradition of asserting authority over an unwilling group. It must have made Putin proud.

h/t CWNews

Propter Hoc

"The District of Columbia -- a densely populated urban locality where the violence caused by handguns is well documented -- will be unable to enforce a law that its elected officials have sensibly concluded saves lives."

So say attorneys representing gun control before the US Supreme Court. The violence caused by handguns is well documented, eh? Well, let's stretch this out in proper Apokalyptic fashion:

The poverty caused by playing cards is well documented.

The alcoholism caused by wine is well documented.

The heart disease caused by hamburgers is well documented.

The AIDS epidemic caused by penises is well documented.

Each of these extrapolations takes a benign object and turns it into a malevolent sentience bent on destroying humanity. Heaven forbid that people are accountable for the choices they make with the tools/materials/substance of the world.

The idiocy caused by Liberalism is well documented.

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Posturing Poll

Yes, some of the combinations seem improbable, but I wanted to give all the options. The more responses we get, the better our information will be.

Apokalypse Watch, Month 2

Well, the next Apokalypse/i is due in mid-June, with the likelyhood of it/them coming before finals of the spring semester. Mrs. Apokalypse is still tired and always hungry, but is hoping that it will pass as we cruise into the second trimester. Though only one heartbeat was discerned this week, we may get an ultrasound next month to steel ourselves for the high likelyhood of twins.

I will trust in the Lord, that he will provide us the grace to care for these new children, and the means by which to feed them.

Red Friday 2007

The Friday after Thanksgiving is referred to as Black Friday, as the retaillers usually see a profit that day. I refer to it as RED Friday, as most americans will only add to their debt on that day, and the money spent will find it's way into the coffers of the communist Chinese government. I started this last year in this other post, and I will continue to do an annual jeremiad about it until people listen, or our economy crashes. Yes, it's looking like the former possibility is more likely.

So, what's changed since last year? Well, the value of the American Dollar is down 30% versus the Euro, and also down against the British Pound and Japanese Yen. Ahh, but the dollar hasn't fallen in relation to the Chinese Yuan right? The Chinese currency is pegged to the US Dollar, so that as our dollar gets weaker, chinese imports to this country won't spike in value. Which means that americans can continue to buy chinese goods until the Dollar is 1:1 with the old Italian Lira, and the destruction of our economy is complete.

Oil, on the other hand, is not pegged to the Dollar, as any observer will note that the cost of a barrel of oil is up 60% from this time last year. Yes, it hurts, and will continue to hurt, until we both reduce consumer consumption and get our currency under control.

So, what does this have to do with shopping on RED Friday? Here are some suggestions:

1. Don't buy so much stuff!
2. If you just have to but stuff, don't buy stuff made in China.
3. Instead of buying a plasma TV, buy a copy of 'The Wealth of Nations' by Adam Smith.
4. Instead of buying a new Playstation, buy a copy of 'The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire' by Edward Gibbon.
5. Some of you are talented folks, so craft something instead. We used to make stuff in this country, so revive the tradition.

Idea for 2008

July 25th, 2008 will be the 40th Anniversary of Pope Paul VI's encyclical Humanae Vitae. Mark your calendars.

Call To Subterfuge

From the Lincoln Journal-Star, Call To Action gets sneaky:

A group critical of the Lincoln Diocese for being the only one in the nation not to participate in a sex abuse survey said it was turned away Monday when it tried to hand-deliver petitions to bishops from across the country.

The USCCB is a sitting target for all sorts of grief when e're they gather. Call to Action, having been previously rebuffed and embarassed in their quest to shame Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz, are trying to push their 'prophetic' agenda using some fairly underhanded tactics:

The Catholic reformist group Call to Action instead planned to use a person not known as a member of the group to sneak roughly 1,000 petitions into the hotel where the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops was meeting in Baltimore, said a member of the group.

Classy, guys, really classy. Next time, try it without the Groucho Marx disguise. While their battlecry is "Save the Children", Call To Action was excommunicated SIX YEARS before the abuse scandal hit. In reality, they're still hacked off that they got excommunicated, and most people know it:

Monsignor Timothy Thorburn of Lincoln said in statement that Call to Action is “venting its ire” at the bishop for his decision to “not allow the group to operate in the Diocese of Lincoln because of its anti-Catholic doctrines.”

Failing to whip up further scorn from other bishops, Call to Action proceeds to further advertise the root of their misunderstanding of the Church:

“It’s a disappointment ... because Bishop Bruskewitz has just thumbed his nose” at the policies from the bishops’ conference, said Gordon Peterson, Call To Action Member. “The position he takes is he’s only answerable to the pope.”

Well, Gordon, I hate to break it to you, but the bishop is right. The sad part is, Bishop Bruskewitz knows that he answers to the Pope, while too many catholics, like Mr. Peterson, think that they don't.

The model church of Call To Action makes the bishops obedient to the people, and the people obedient only to their 'conscience', however well or ill formed it may be.

With Such Ardor

From the NCR:
The archbishop's out of town, as are his co-adjutor and auxiliary bishop, and some suspect shenanigans are scheduled to take place at a local parish. In steps Dennis McGrath, communications director for the archdiocese, to fill the shoes of his absent Archbishop by declaring Catholic teaching..umm, sort of:

[McGrath] contacted Fr. Leo Tibesar, pastor of St. Frances Cabrini, to tell the priest that “news of this would likely not be acceptable to the bishops.”

Ok, not a particularly rousing expostulation for the Magisterium, but we'll take what we can get. The event was cancelled, the Catholic Father/Lesbian Daughter duo were banished to a U.C.C. church for their lecture, and all is well.

In speaking to a National catholic Reporter writer, McGrath further softens his intervention, lest he come off like a modern Bernard Gui:

McGrath said he told Tibesar, “I do not speak for the archbishops and do not want to represent their authority, but this talk does not seem to be in keeping with archdiocesan rules and policies or Vatican rules and policies.”

Alright St. Jimbob, just shut up and be glad he said something to begin with..

Sufficient

Shocker: Pat Robertson Endorses Rudy Giuliani

Robertson said he decided to endorse Giuliani because he was "a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans."

"In all of the crises which confront our nation and the world, we need a leader with a bold vision who is not afraid to tackle the challenges ahead," Robertson said.

Well, that's enough info for me to NOT vote for Rudy. Rudy may be a fearless leader, one who doesn't blanch at the notion that the engine of the economy is greased with the blood of aborted children. Rudy certainly does not fear God. As an accomplished adulterer, I'm not surprised that traditional family values are not his strong suit.

If any politician claiming to be a Roman Catholic could appear to be any less catholic than John Kerry, it would be Rudy Giuliani. Rudy's inconsistent approach to his faith is probably not a problem for Robertson. Romney's out, as Pat probably considers Mitt a pagan, and McCain's just not hawkish enough on apocalyptic conflicts, in addition to being federalist on the issue of same-sex marriage.

So, what does that leave? For Robertson to jump on board the Giuliani Express, my guess is that he thinks Rudy would do anything to defend Israel from Islamist aggression. Anything.

Robertson's previous public remarks have already warranted dismissal, and this time serve as a warning to go a different way.

Lift High the MDGs

I caught this picture over at Titus One Nine (T19), a fairly conservative Episcopalian blog. Can you see "something wrong in the photo (beyond the hippie fashions and female 'priests'.)



The U.N.'s "Millenium Development Goals"(MDGs) have effectively replaced the Gospel, so naturally the MDGs should be given the preferential placement during their worship services. While many of the MDGs are erstwhile goals that would be corporal works of mercy, the elevation of them as commandments by a supposedly christian church is disturbing because it makes no mention of God nor Jesus, which we are all called to proclaim.

The U.N. goals would try to save Man with rice in stead of Resurrection, with troops in stead of Truth, with condoms in stead of Christ, and abortions in stead of Absolution. Instead of free people, they will have created well-fed sex slaves, breeding only the replacement amount of proles to keep the diamond mines, textile mills, and computer factories working.

Swept Series

Series Swept:
Natural Family Disorganization 4, Creighton Method 0

Or, in subtler terms, Mrs. Apokalypse is pregnant. Prayers are welcome, as are large amounts of cash (small bills, non-sequential). Also looking for a sleeper sofa ;-)

It's just not challenging enough, working full time, on call 24/7, with a wife and 3 young children, AND attending university half-time. Let's throw something else into the mix... how about a new baby!

Tempest, Teapot, Cleanup

The furor this week was all about the Archbishop of San Francisco and a group of homosexual activists. Let's see if I can boil it down a bit:


If your 'Sunday Best' is drag, you might be in San Francisco


"Psst, I wonder if he'll notice we're in drag.."


And so, the drag queens did receive the Eucharist from the hands of Archbishop Niederauer. Video captured at the event shows a slightly befuddled prelate.

The catholic corner of the blogosphere was in full lather over the offensive display, and many, including myself, dropped a note to the Vatican urging an explanation. And lo and behold, a couple days later, an apology from Archbishop Niederauer:

At Communion time, toward the end of the line, two strangely dressed persons came to receive Communion. As I recall one of them wore a large flowered hat or garland. I did not recognize either of them as wearing mock religious garb...

Although I had often seen photographs of members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, I had never encountered them in person until October 7th. I did not recognize who these people were when they approached me.

After the event, I realized that they were members of this particular organization and that giving them Holy Communion had been a mistake.

I apologize to the Catholics of the Archdiocese of San Francisco and to Catholics at large for doing so.

Good enough for me.

Still, I would hope that the Archbishop will become more aware of the spiritual challenges of his archdiocese. After all, everyone knows that San Francisco is the Gay Mecca, with the Castro district being the core.

Autocephalous Hypocrisy

I saw this news Item earlier in the week, a meeting in Ravenna, Italy, turns sour:

A delegation of the Moscow Patriarchate led by Bishop Hilarion of Vienna and Austria walked out of a meeting of the joint commission on the Orthodox-Catholic dialogue in the Italian city of Ravenna on Tuesday,

Not surprising, given the chilly relations between the two. As much as the Russian Orthodox fuss about Catholic proselytizing in Russia, at least Rome isn't leaning on the Italian government to expel foreign-born clergy.

But alas, the bug in Russia's bonnet is different this time:

During the Orthodox meeting, Russian Orthodox Bishop Hilarion of Vienna and Austria told the other Orthodox participants that his delegation would abandon the meeting if they did not ask the Estonian Orthodox delegation to leave.

well, that's not a very prime example of christian love for our brothers, is it? What resentment could lead to such uncharitable behaviour?

The Russian Orthodox Church does not recognize the Estonian Apostolic Church, which is tied to the Ecumenical Patriarchate of Constantinople, said a statement by the Russian Orthodox Church. The Russian Orthodox Church believes the Orthodox in Estonia fall under the jurisdiction of the Russian Orthodox Church, not the ecumenical patriarchate.

Hmm, okay, lemme see if I've got this right: Russia refuses to entertain the notion of the authority of Rome, but expects to wield authority over others. I see. Russia can be autocephalous, but christians in their territory, and neighboring areas, cannot be trusted to make their own religious decisions? They need to get over themselves.

I wouldn't be surprised if Estonians, tired of Russian political and military hegemony, aren't excited by the imposition of russian religious hegemony.

By Extension #71006

Ok, I've been goaded into making these slogans available as bumper stickers. Here's the first

Death Penalty - Making sure that every inmate is a wanted inmate.

Just click on the link above to order.

As CafePress won't let me have multiple offerings without paying the fee, I'll let this first one float for a while, then post others as interest would indicate.

By Extension, #71003

Some people criticise pro-life supporters as being hypocritical when it comes to the death penalty. 'Tis fair to expect a people that claims to believe in mercy to really extend it. I would, in turn, like to see abortion supporters be thoroughly pro-death, extending their logic about the unborn to capital offenders.

With that in mind, I give you: Pro-Choice Slogans for the Death Penalty.

Lethal Injection: Making sure every inmate is a wanted inmate.

My Prison, My Choice.

If you don't believe in Lethal Injection, don't have one.

Pro-law, Pro-order, Pro-death penalty

If you can't trust me with a lethal injection, how can you trust me with a life sentence?

Keep your defense attorney off my lethal injection gurney.

More submissions will be posted when you cough 'em up.

Beware NeoChurchspeak

The new bishop of Pittsburgh, David Zubik, talks the talk of the felt banner crowd:

In many ways we have to think outside the box and look for the ways in which the Holy Spirit is calling us to be church.

[barf]

He speaks like an Episcopalian Marine Biologist. I hope that this does not bode ill for the Faith in Pittsburgh. They don't need any repeat's of this summer's nonsense on the river.

When asked about social justice, the bishop hits the chord on life issues:

The most important social justice issue is the fabric of respect for life from the first moment of conception to the point of natural death. We have to be able to have profound respect for life, no matter what the world may say about how disposable people are.

So, then, how will he deal with pro-abortion catholic politicians? Time will tell, especially in dealing with U.S. Senator Bob Casey (D-PA), who feigned a pro-life position before his election.

Bishop Zubik also appear to be on the anti-border bandwagon:

I am a little bit baffled by what appears to be a growing insensitivity to immigrants coming into our country. Whatever nationality we all are, we became part of this country because our ancestors were immigrants. Our country is a mosaic of different nationalities.

It's not about immigrants, Excellency, it's about immigrants obeying the law of the land. Just ask Pedro Zapeta.

TLM in Lincoln

I spoke with our pastor about the TLM, but waited for a month after the motu proprio had come out, lest I appear over-eager. His indication was that the bishop, his Excellency Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz, wanted to make sure that clergy were properly prepared to offer the Latin Mass before widening its usage in the diocese. Currently, there's one parish doing two latin masses on Sundays, and possibly weekday masses as well.

I noticed this snippet in the local paper:

Priest training Latin Mass workshops, Oct. 5-9 and Nov. 2-6, Our Lady of Guadalupe Seminary, Denton. 797-7700 or seminary@fsspolgs.org

I take this to mean that the bishop's plan is rolling forward. Interestingly enough, the topic came up in this week's 'Ask the Register' column in the diocesan newspaper.

Didn't the Second Vatican Council outlaw the use of Latin in the Mass? Isn't the pope defying the Second Vatican Council by reinstating Latin in the Mass with his new document "Summorum Pontificum"?

No, the Second Vatican Council did not outlaw the use of Latin in the Mass, but said just the opposite. The Council said, "Particular law remaining in force, the use of the Latin language is to be preserved in the Latin rites. But, since the use of the mother tongue, whether in the Mass, the administration of the sacraments, or other parts of the liturgy, may frequently be of great advantage to the people, the limits of its employment may be extended." The Council also said, "In Masses which are celebrated with the people, a suitable place may be allotted to their mother tongue.... Nevertheless steps should be taken so that the faithful may also be able to say or sing together in Latin those parts of the ordinary of the Mass which pertain to them." It is important, before making such unfounded claims, that you read carefully the documents of the Second Vatican Council. Your error will become apparent to you when you read the Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy of that Council. If you were to actually read the "Motu Proprio" Encyclical Letter of our Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI, you would also see how untrue and unjust your accusations against him are. The sooner you read and study his Encyclical and the Council's Con-stitution "Sacrum Concilium," the better off you will be.

My pastor also indicated that he'd not just spring it suddenly on the laity, but he didn't have any other details to offer. As I've indicated before, the vernacular Mass is celebrated well in Lincoln, and in our parish as well. Most hymns sung during Mass are from BEFORE 1950, many parts of the Mass are sung in english and during Lent and Advent, some Latin is sung as well. I've been to parishes in other states where the liturgy is every bit the felt banner clad nightmare of the 1970's.