Propter Hoc

"The District of Columbia -- a densely populated urban locality where the violence caused by handguns is well documented -- will be unable to enforce a law that its elected officials have sensibly concluded saves lives."

So say attorneys representing gun control before the US Supreme Court. The violence caused by handguns is well documented, eh? Well, let's stretch this out in proper Apokalyptic fashion:

The poverty caused by playing cards is well documented.

The alcoholism caused by wine is well documented.

The heart disease caused by hamburgers is well documented.

The AIDS epidemic caused by penises is well documented.

Each of these extrapolations takes a benign object and turns it into a malevolent sentience bent on destroying humanity. Heaven forbid that people are accountable for the choices they make with the tools/materials/substance of the world.

The idiocy caused by Liberalism is well documented.

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Rites of String

March wind blows, virile
fights man and kite for control
taut string burns the palms

Red Friday Cometh

The Friday after Thanksgiving is now commonly known as Black Friday, as it’s insinuated how the pre-Christmas shopping done on that day puts merchants “in the black”. I propose a different moniker for it: Red Friday. Here’s why:

1) A large number of Americans will surrender their meager savings, and many go into debt, in an orgy of fiscal incontinence, also called “Holiday shopping”. The average American adult will accrue an extra $1,000 in debt for holiday shopping, Americans will be “in the Red” for next year’s landfill fodder and yardsale flotsam.

2) Many of the products purchased by said Americans will be produced overseas, adding to our overall trade deficit. Last year’s trade deficit was $655 Billion (excluding petroleum), which is a tremendous drag on our own economy, and has been devastating to our own manufacturing base. Buying cheap has never cost so much.

3) Much of the above trade deficits will be the products made in Communist China. In 2005, the trade imbalance with China, alone, was $202 BILLION. They also happen to hold a sizeable amount of U.S. debt, which end up giving them a significant amount of leverage over us, especially in the arena of currency values and trade.

4) Oh, sure, the products are inexpensive. That’s because they’re made by people in squalid conditions, making a pittance. I believe that we found those conditions intolerable in our own country, so why do we turn a blind eye to it elsewhere, precisely when we’re generating the demand for it? And if earning squat was bad enough, these people don’t get to practice their religion freely, nor speak freely, nor have unfiltered information sources (Thanks for your help with that, Google). Many are killed by their oppressive governments.

So, when you go out shopping for holiday merchandise this year, be it on Red Friday, or any other day, look at your labels, and decide if it’s really worth the cost to you, your country, and the people who suffer to bring you these items.