Upchuck on Iraq

Some people should NOT speak, until they've completely thought through the implications of their ideas. Sen. Chuck Hagel (R?!-NE) announces that he thinks the U.N. should take over in Iraq:

Sen. Chuck Hagel said Tuesday it’s time to “take the American face off the political process in Iraq” and consider appointment of a United Nations mediator.

Pardon my cynicism, but the U.N. is that LAST agency to go for timely help on any urgent problem. Ask the folks in Darfur about the alacrity which folks at the U.N. can say something is wrong, then spring into inaction that aids no one.

Decisionmaking at the U.N. is subject to competing interests, which leads to the most bizarre committee appointments. Why the hell is Zimbabwe the new chair for Sustainable Development, when they've completely botched their economy and their ability to grow food?!? How did Sudan, the aggressor in the Darfur situation, get on the Commission for Human Rights (now defunct, if it was ever funct)?!?

And wait there's more, if you order a U.N. copout set in the next hour, you'll also receive a Hazardous Regional Partnership at no additional cost:

With no military solution possible and Iraqis “obviously incapable” of reaching political accommodation on their own, Hagel said, the United States needs to consider “bold, new strategic thinking.” That points to engagement of Iran and Syria within a regional security framework.

Oh cool, now Iraq can be torn between shiite and sunni extremist regimes from NEIGHBORING countries. Smoothe move, Ex-Lax. Now Iraq can sample politico-military life from the heart of Africa, where neighboring states fund rebel groups in each others' countries. Maybe Chuck can appoint consultants on the process, like Liberia's Charles Taylor and Uganda's Joseph Kony.

If invading Iraq was a bad idea, we're seeing a bumper crop of bad ideas for getting out. Thanks, Chuck, that will be all.

Rousing the Troops

Unseen Blogger has upped the ante by posting George C. Scott's speech from Patton, and to I will do my part by posting the St. Crispin's Day speech from Henry V, with apologies to the Bard.

What's he that wishes so?
My cousin McCain? No, my fair cousin:
If we are mark'd to die, we are enow
To do our country loss; and if to live,
The fewer men, the greater share of honour.

God's will! I pray thee, wish not one man more.
By Jove, I am not covetous for oil,
Nor care I who doth feed upon my cost;
It yearns me not if men my garments wear;
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to covet honour,
I am the most offending soul alive.

No, faith, my coz, wish not a man from America:
God's peace! I would not lose so great an honour
As one man more, methinks, would share from me
For the best hope I have. O, do not wish one more!

Rather proclaim it, McCain, through my host,
That he which hath no stomach to this fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse:
We would not die in that man's company
That fears his fellowship to die with us.

This day is called the feast of Crispian:
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tip-toe when the day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Crispian.

He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on the vigil feast his neighbours,
And say 'To-morrow is Saint Crispian:'
Then will he strip his sleeve and show his scars.
And say 'These wounds I had on Crispin's day.'

Old men forget: yet all shall be forgot,
But he'll remember with advantages
What feats he did that day: then shall our names.
Familiar in his mouth as household words
George the president, Cheney and Condi,
Rumsfeld and Lieberman, Petreus and Abizaid,
Be in their flowing cups freshly remember'd.

This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin, Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:

And gentlemen in America now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.