Friday, October 20, 2006

Custom Bible

From WorldNetDaily, a story about a new bible, seemingly customised for stalwart Republicans:

A new publication of the Bible by a Dutch organization could take a lot of the stress out of reading the Holy Book's instructions for contemporary Christians, according to its publisher.

That's because those troublesome verses about justice for the poor, responsibility for the rich to address their neighbors' needs, and all that talk about money, are gone. Not just edited out, cut out...

"Jesus was very inspiring for our inner health, but we don't need to take his naïve remarks about money seriously. He didn't study economics, obviously," said a Mr. De Rijke, the chairman of the foundation, in a news release obtained by ANS.

Wow, to the DNC bible excises any sexual moral component of scripture, and the RNC version excises any materialist moral component of the Gospels. Poof! No more Bible. The money shot in the article comes early:

After all, no serious Christian takes such texts literally, he said.

Bwah-hah-hah-hah, these guys kill me. Sign him up for Friday nights at the Funny Bone. Now for the punchline:

However, the names listed for the officials of the foundation, "De Rijke" and "Fortuijn" give away the joke, which sometimes has produced more anger than humor among Christians.

"De Rijke" means "rich," and "Fortuijn" means "fortune," and the Bible actually is published by Time to Turn, a network of Dutch Christian students "who want to choose a sustainable and just way of life, based on their faith in Jesus Christ."

"They do not believe in a new legalism, or in a utopian state, but in a God who is willing to deliver the world from materialism and injustice. Time to Turn is linked to the international student movement Speak," the announcement said.

I love parody. Don't you?

1 comment:

Tiber Jumper said...

Kind of looks like the Bible after the old German Augustinian monk turned "reformer" got happy with a razor blade!
So much easier to delete the books and verses you don't like and add some you do!(Faith alone Rom 3:23)
The devil's got the same old play book.