The Modern Major Democrat

a musical number, inspired by Jay @ Pro Familia.

(to the tune of Modern Major General, from the Pirates of Penzance)

I am the very model of the modern major Democrat,
I've been on MTV, so that you know that I know where it's at,
Senators from Massachusetts can be thin or very fat.
We'll filibuster judges, 'cause we love a game of tit for tat.

I'm a decorated veteran with documented bravery,
despite my voting record indicating frequent wavery.
About the strife in Persia, I've given quite a lot of thought,
But if you ask about a plan, I'll have to tell you I have naught.

But if you ask about a plan, I'll have to tell you I have naught.
But if you ask about a plan, I'll have to tell you I have naught.
But if you ask about a plan, I'll have to tell you I have naught.

I'm very good at calumny, detraction and hyperbole
I'll tell what you want to hear, to get all you to vote for me
In short, in matters cultural, social, and all of that,
I am the very model of the modern major Democrat.

In short, in matters cultural, social, and all of that,
I am the very model of the modern major Democrat.

I know our civic history, of Washington and Jefferson
I quote the Founding Fathers with the U.S. Constitution
I'm person'ly against, but publically support abortion
Though some catholics think that I deserve excommunication

Sister Joan Chittister makes a lot of sense to me
On war, retired bishop Gumbleton and I agree
To the Church's Magisterium I give no authority
The National Catholic Reporter is the rag for me

The National Catholic Reporter is the rag for me
The National Catholic Reporter is the rag for me
The National Catholic Reporter is the rag for me

Condescension is my native tongue, I speak it rather fluently
And if you cannot understand, I'll nod most patronizingly,
In short, in matters cultural, social, and all of that,
I am the very model of the modern major Democrat.