Wednesday, June 06, 2007

Mao, the Movie

A fawning firm treatment of Mao Zedong is in the works. To cerebrate, in chinese manufacturing fashion, I'm going to copy some famous tagrines from hit movies:

Mao's Mother, speaking to young Mao: "The life is a box of chocolate, Mao. Very difficult to say any you obtain."

Mao, after his mule has been scared off: "I did not think, you smile. You see, my mule does not like the person smiling. His some you ridicule him the crazy idea. Now if you apologize, if I knew you go to, perhaps I convince him, you truly have not meant it."

Mao, riling chinese peasants: "Tells us the enemy, perhaps they need our life, but they never will adopt... our freedom!"

Mao, later, speaking to his troops: "Is taking the line! Stays with me in the same place! If you found oneself alone, rides in the green domain and the sun in yours face, do not have to trouble. For you is in Elysium, and you already were die!"

Mao, talking about his tanks: "Very good, the person, you sees, the picture, we us opposed big and is better than all tanks, therefore possesses us to be able to hope does is, the picture, frightens them, y'know. This pole gun is ordinary 76mm but we increases pipe this piece it, and Capitalist pigs believed, the picture, it is possibly 90mm. We obtained we ammunition, it uses the paint to fill. When we fire at it, it makes the pretty picture, frightens the person! And we have a loudspeaker, when we enter our extremely loud performance music the battle. It... is a little calm we to get down."

The final scene, Mao has sacrificed himself to save the people of China:

Lin Biao: "Mao."
Mao: " Country... stemming from danger?"
Biao: "Yes."
Mao: "Do not grieve, Comrade. This is a logic. Many needs to exceed...
Biao: "... Minority need."
Mao: "..Or that. I have until now never accepted Kobayashi the Maru test. How do you think my explanation?"
Biao: "Mao."
Mao, before dying: "I will be and always will be your friend... Exactly long and is prosperous."

If anyone can guess the movies these diarogs are transrated from, more power to you...


Dad29 said...

Cannes, here we come!!!

DigiHairshirt said...

Ah, Jimbob, you funny man, although you forget that Chinese has "L" sound, not like Japanese who cannot say "raraparooza!"

But I talk long time. I guess now at movies:

1. Forrest Gump
2. ?
3. Braveheart
4. 300
5. Apocaplypse Now
6. Star Wars, one of many episodes like rice in bowl

And now we get in much trouble for making ethnic stereotype, ah so . . .

St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

Nice guesses Digi, you nailed 1 and 3. I'll give some hints for the others, if anyone else is going to play:

2. Clint Eastwood, in a poncho
4. Russel Crowe
5. Donald Sutherland, to Clint Eastwood
6. Shatner and Nimoy, nowhere near Fantasy Island.

Paul, just this guy, you know? said...

I was sure that #6 was Star Trek II, the Wrath of Khan.

I probably haven't seen the others.

DigiHairshirt said...

He Who Tames Dragon,

I make to guess then that Number 4 - and Number 4 come with soup and egg roll - is "Gladiator." Am right, no? Russell Crowe big man in little skirt in movie - he make girls sigh like wind through lotus trees when harvest collective the peaches. Ahhh . . .

Mei Lil Sing-Sing

(Really, at what point does Jet Li come into this inane dialog and kick all of our butts for typecasting Chinese?)

St. Jimbob of the Apokalypse said...

I do not calculate what Jet Li knows. But, I calculate Chow Yun Fat to be busy with want to know how he can obtain his individuality Easter another ' Carribean pirate ' movie.

You are correct on the 'Gladiator' guess.

I'm thinking of doing a 'deleted scenes' post of other dialogs, including quitessential romance scenes.IF you have any must-do scenes, let me know.

Nicholodeon said...

Oh, and to keep the Mao image alive and well, Miss Congoleezza Rice is traveling to Peking. The headlines will read 'Rice in China' with subtitle, 'Rice eats rice.'