Spot the Fake

Two tales from current events, about spotting something fake:

A wedding procession is stopped near Bagdad, Iraq, by those meddling American troops:

Upon inspecting the convoy, soldiers found a stubbly-faced man, Haider al-Bahadli, decked out in a white bride's dress and veil.

Bahadli was wanted on terror-related charges, as was his groom, Abbas al-Dobbi, the official said.

It may be a good thing that the soldiers intervened. Whatever would betray such an oddly conceived masquerade?

The soldiers became suspicious of the convoy because its members -- save the "bride" -- were all male and because one of the cars in the convoy did not heed orders to stop, the official said.

Also, soldiers said, the people in the car seemed nervous and the groom refused to lift his bride's veil when soldiers asked him to, according to the official.

Ahh, so the behavior of the party and composition of the group belied its appearance. That's something to remember.

A homily is delivered by a Roman Catholic priest, at a Roman Catholic Mass, at a Roman Catholic church:

"Two people came into Church to pray. One was an Evangelical pastor whose regional services are broadcast nationally who prayed " I give you thanks oh God that I am not like others - greedy, dishonest or like others who give into same gender sex drives which the bible calls an abomination."

The others who came into Church to pray for a same sex couple raising children born by way of donor insemination who prayed: "Oh god, be merciful to us for not finding our own medium to share with the broader audience the biblical passage of 1 John 4:16 – God is love and when we abide in love we abide in God and God in us."

Jesus concluded the last ones went home more worthy in God's sight than the first."

Hmm, the person delivering this alternative view of the Gospel looks like a Roman Catholic priest, but he's showing a decidedly firm deviation from the doctrines of the Catholic Church. I sense that he's closer to an Episcopalian than a Catholic. What other cards is the priest playing?

Two people came into Church to pray, one was a Catholic Archbishop who refuses communion to Rainbow Sash people at the Cathedral on Pentecost Sunday who prayed " I give you thanks oh God that I am not like others – greedy, dishonest or like others who need to make their dissent from official Church teaching so public and divisive."

The other were Rainbow parents of GLBT people at the Cathedral on Pentecost who stood off on the side and prayed, "Oh God be merciful to us for failing to attend our own Churches more often; they say they love God then turn there backs on us in hate directly contrary to 1:John,4 – whoever loves God must also love the neighbor."

Jesus concluded the last ones went home more worthy in God's sight than the first.

There's another straw man argument against the doctrines of the Church whose uniform he's sporting. He's not supportive of Catholic doctrine on sexuality, and he's promoted the LGBTQI agenda before, and only backed down when promised some heat.

So, we have a terrorist dressed as a bride, and an Episcopalian dressed as a Roman Catholic priest. Which do you think will end up doing more damage?

h/t Curt Jester

Humidor is online

I've moved all the cigar items to their own blog, called "The Humidor of the Apokalypse". If you're shopping for a good stogie for yourself, or someone else, you can wander over there to get an Idea about some good cigars that don't cost much. One could even leave suggestions for your humble host.

Descriptive

A local laundry operator was held up at knifepoint, and the local paper gives the usual details:

The man walked into the business, asked for a piece of paper and wrote a demand for money. He left without further incident and no injuries were reported.

The man was described as being about 40 years old, about 6-feet tall, about 225 to 250 pounds and with a light mustache.

Wow, the description avoids any racial description, but offends other gender, age, and physical attribute groups.

Describing the suspect as male is sexist, as the perp could be a woman trapped in a man's body. The facial hair trait is also sexist. So, we better scratch the descriptors "man" and "with a light mustache".

Giving an age range is patently offensive, as age shouldn't be a factor in assigning blame for a crime. So, scratch the "about 40 years old".

By announcing his height, you've disparaged people of moderate stature. So, you'd better lose the "about 6 feet tall" as well.

The overweight are constantly discriminated against, and would be insulted by a weight bias in the paper's report. Better to eliminate the derogatory "about 225 to 250 pounds" as well.

That leaves us with a more socially just description of the unfortunate offender:

The suspect was described as being.

Everyone happy now?

Oblivious, or Lying

Russian president Vladamir Putin chanted praises for the Russian Orthodox church, this time for promoting interreligious dialog:

"We attach serious importance to the efforts being made by the Russian Orthodox Church to promote interreligious dialogue and cooperation, and to assert religious tolerance," Putin told the hierarchs of the Russian Orthodox Church in the Kremlin on Monday.

That's pretty interesting, considering that the Russian Orthodox delegation huffily left the recent interreligious dialog meeting in Ravenna. Maybe Vlad is referring to Patriarch Alexy II's assertion of authority over the orthodox in Estonia. The Russian Orthodox church is just continuing the Russian tradition of asserting authority over an unwilling group. It must have made Putin proud.

h/t CWNews

Propter Hoc

"The District of Columbia -- a densely populated urban locality where the violence caused by handguns is well documented -- will be unable to enforce a law that its elected officials have sensibly concluded saves lives."

So say attorneys representing gun control before the US Supreme Court. The violence caused by handguns is well documented, eh? Well, let's stretch this out in proper Apokalyptic fashion:

The poverty caused by playing cards is well documented.

The alcoholism caused by wine is well documented.

The heart disease caused by hamburgers is well documented.

The AIDS epidemic caused by penises is well documented.

Each of these extrapolations takes a benign object and turns it into a malevolent sentience bent on destroying humanity. Heaven forbid that people are accountable for the choices they make with the tools/materials/substance of the world.

The idiocy caused by Liberalism is well documented.

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Posturing Poll

Yes, some of the combinations seem improbable, but I wanted to give all the options. The more responses we get, the better our information will be.

Apokalypse Watch, Month 2

Well, the next Apokalypse/i is due in mid-June, with the likelyhood of it/them coming before finals of the spring semester. Mrs. Apokalypse is still tired and always hungry, but is hoping that it will pass as we cruise into the second trimester. Though only one heartbeat was discerned this week, we may get an ultrasound next month to steel ourselves for the high likelyhood of twins.

I will trust in the Lord, that he will provide us the grace to care for these new children, and the means by which to feed them.

Red Friday 2007

The Friday after Thanksgiving is referred to as Black Friday, as the retaillers usually see a profit that day. I refer to it as RED Friday, as most americans will only add to their debt on that day, and the money spent will find it's way into the coffers of the communist Chinese government. I started this last year in this other post, and I will continue to do an annual jeremiad about it until people listen, or our economy crashes. Yes, it's looking like the former possibility is more likely.

So, what's changed since last year? Well, the value of the American Dollar is down 30% versus the Euro, and also down against the British Pound and Japanese Yen. Ahh, but the dollar hasn't fallen in relation to the Chinese Yuan right? The Chinese currency is pegged to the US Dollar, so that as our dollar gets weaker, chinese imports to this country won't spike in value. Which means that americans can continue to buy chinese goods until the Dollar is 1:1 with the old Italian Lira, and the destruction of our economy is complete.

Oil, on the other hand, is not pegged to the Dollar, as any observer will note that the cost of a barrel of oil is up 60% from this time last year. Yes, it hurts, and will continue to hurt, until we both reduce consumer consumption and get our currency under control.

So, what does this have to do with shopping on RED Friday? Here are some suggestions:

1. Don't buy so much stuff!
2. If you just have to but stuff, don't buy stuff made in China.
3. Instead of buying a plasma TV, buy a copy of 'The Wealth of Nations' by Adam Smith.
4. Instead of buying a new Playstation, buy a copy of 'The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire' by Edward Gibbon.
5. Some of you are talented folks, so craft something instead. We used to make stuff in this country, so revive the tradition.

Idea for 2008

July 25th, 2008 will be the 40th Anniversary of Pope Paul VI's encyclical Humanae Vitae. Mark your calendars.

Call To Subterfuge

From the Lincoln Journal-Star, Call To Action gets sneaky:

A group critical of the Lincoln Diocese for being the only one in the nation not to participate in a sex abuse survey said it was turned away Monday when it tried to hand-deliver petitions to bishops from across the country.

The USCCB is a sitting target for all sorts of grief when e're they gather. Call to Action, having been previously rebuffed and embarassed in their quest to shame Bishop Fabian Bruskewitz, are trying to push their 'prophetic' agenda using some fairly underhanded tactics:

The Catholic reformist group Call to Action instead planned to use a person not known as a member of the group to sneak roughly 1,000 petitions into the hotel where the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops was meeting in Baltimore, said a member of the group.

Classy, guys, really classy. Next time, try it without the Groucho Marx disguise. While their battlecry is "Save the Children", Call To Action was excommunicated SIX YEARS before the abuse scandal hit. In reality, they're still hacked off that they got excommunicated, and most people know it:

Monsignor Timothy Thorburn of Lincoln said in statement that Call to Action is “venting its ire” at the bishop for his decision to “not allow the group to operate in the Diocese of Lincoln because of its anti-Catholic doctrines.”

Failing to whip up further scorn from other bishops, Call to Action proceeds to further advertise the root of their misunderstanding of the Church:

“It’s a disappointment ... because Bishop Bruskewitz has just thumbed his nose” at the policies from the bishops’ conference, said Gordon Peterson, Call To Action Member. “The position he takes is he’s only answerable to the pope.”

Well, Gordon, I hate to break it to you, but the bishop is right. The sad part is, Bishop Bruskewitz knows that he answers to the Pope, while too many catholics, like Mr. Peterson, think that they don't.

The model church of Call To Action makes the bishops obedient to the people, and the people obedient only to their 'conscience', however well or ill formed it may be.

With Such Ardor

From the NCR:
The archbishop's out of town, as are his co-adjutor and auxiliary bishop, and some suspect shenanigans are scheduled to take place at a local parish. In steps Dennis McGrath, communications director for the archdiocese, to fill the shoes of his absent Archbishop by declaring Catholic teaching..umm, sort of:

[McGrath] contacted Fr. Leo Tibesar, pastor of St. Frances Cabrini, to tell the priest that “news of this would likely not be acceptable to the bishops.”

Ok, not a particularly rousing expostulation for the Magisterium, but we'll take what we can get. The event was cancelled, the Catholic Father/Lesbian Daughter duo were banished to a U.C.C. church for their lecture, and all is well.

In speaking to a National catholic Reporter writer, McGrath further softens his intervention, lest he come off like a modern Bernard Gui:

McGrath said he told Tibesar, “I do not speak for the archbishops and do not want to represent their authority, but this talk does not seem to be in keeping with archdiocesan rules and policies or Vatican rules and policies.”

Alright St. Jimbob, just shut up and be glad he said something to begin with..

Sufficient

Shocker: Pat Robertson Endorses Rudy Giuliani

Robertson said he decided to endorse Giuliani because he was "a proven leader who is not afraid of what lies ahead and who will cast a hopeful vision for all Americans."

"In all of the crises which confront our nation and the world, we need a leader with a bold vision who is not afraid to tackle the challenges ahead," Robertson said.

Well, that's enough info for me to NOT vote for Rudy. Rudy may be a fearless leader, one who doesn't blanch at the notion that the engine of the economy is greased with the blood of aborted children. Rudy certainly does not fear God. As an accomplished adulterer, I'm not surprised that traditional family values are not his strong suit.

If any politician claiming to be a Roman Catholic could appear to be any less catholic than John Kerry, it would be Rudy Giuliani. Rudy's inconsistent approach to his faith is probably not a problem for Robertson. Romney's out, as Pat probably considers Mitt a pagan, and McCain's just not hawkish enough on apocalyptic conflicts, in addition to being federalist on the issue of same-sex marriage.

So, what does that leave? For Robertson to jump on board the Giuliani Express, my guess is that he thinks Rudy would do anything to defend Israel from Islamist aggression. Anything.

Robertson's previous public remarks have already warranted dismissal, and this time serve as a warning to go a different way.

Lift High the MDGs

I caught this picture over at Titus One Nine (T19), a fairly conservative Episcopalian blog. Can you see "something wrong in the photo (beyond the hippie fashions and female 'priests'.)



The U.N.'s "Millenium Development Goals"(MDGs) have effectively replaced the Gospel, so naturally the MDGs should be given the preferential placement during their worship services. While many of the MDGs are erstwhile goals that would be corporal works of mercy, the elevation of them as commandments by a supposedly christian church is disturbing because it makes no mention of God nor Jesus, which we are all called to proclaim.

The U.N. goals would try to save Man with rice in stead of Resurrection, with troops in stead of Truth, with condoms in stead of Christ, and abortions in stead of Absolution. Instead of free people, they will have created well-fed sex slaves, breeding only the replacement amount of proles to keep the diamond mines, textile mills, and computer factories working.