Big, well-monied parishes all over the U.S. are splitting off from The Episcopal Church (or TEC, formerly known as ECUSA, formerly known as PECUSA) to form splinters run by Africans.
These parishes are, in fact, being manipulated by Count Dooku, who is in reality a Dark Lord of the Sith and attempting to foment all-out galactic war.
Meanwhile, the Supreme Chancellor, Archbishop Rowan Williams, bumbles at Lambeth Palace in London, to the derision of his critics. Few know, however, that he is a Sith Lord himself, skillfully using compromise and concessions between the two groups to rule the galaxy and resurrect Darth Cranmer.
Ahh, so that explains it. I laughed so hard that I cried. A later commenter also posited that ABp. Roger Mahony was a Sith apprentice, to which I shall not add to the allegory.
Speaking of Episcopalians, Unseen Blogger also noticed that the recipient of my tender ministrations last week wrote a blog entry complaining about the episode:
I've been getting some very nasty notes from some of the neo-puritan, so-called orthodox, conservative evangelical crowd who seem to have cornered the market on nastiness.
They say that when I don't allow them to post their noxious messages in this space, I'm not being 'inclusive'. That's because the world they live in so certain and smug and secure, so black and white without any nuances or shades of gray, they wouln't recognize "discernment" if it stared them in the face.
They have "Jeeeesssssuuuuussss," remember? I don't. My faith is "apostate," "in authentic" and the bible I read is "counterfeit."
Man, she's a veritable fount of pantywaist theological sentimenality, where does one begin? I won't. The commenters to the above pity party were all comforting and sympathetic, or just pathetic, in a very "ohh, poor misunderstood, persecuted you." tone. If I continue to give her lessons on Scripture, she just may start to cry, at this rate. Consider the dust shaken off. It's time for Math Class.